Bioethics Discussion Blog: Doctor Jokes and Their Meaning

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Sunday, June 05, 2005

Doctor Jokes and Their Meaning

Many doctor jokes have a meaning or reality as their basis. That is why they are worth reading and chuckling over since that reality is what makes them funny and something we can learn from them.

Here are a few and you can read a whole lot more if you go to globalfamilydoctor.com Each joke is followed by my own "thoughtful" comment. By the way, if you think of a better astute comment than I posted, let me know. I hope you find the jokes as funny as I did. ..Maurice.
***

A young GP notices that all the doctors in the surgery are relatively bright first thing in the morning, but all, except one, look frazzled by evening. The one exception is an older GP who always appears fresh and happy. The younger doctor is keen to know if it is his attitude, life outside medicine, certain skills in handling people, a different range of patients and problems, would it be worthwhile sitting in with him during consultations etc. During these thoughts, he notices the other doctor in the car park and decides to seek advice.
"I get worn out from listening to people's worries and concerns and sad stories all day. What is your secret for remaining so fresh?"
The older GP smiles and says: "I never listen!"
(My comment: The difference between a technician and a physician.)
***

Margie received a bill from the hospital for her recent surgery, and was astonished to see a $900 fee for the anaesthetist. She called his office to demand an explanation.
"Is this some kind of mistake?" Margie asked when she got the doctor on the phone.
"No, not at all," the doctor said calmly.
"Well," said Margie, "that's awfully costly for knocking someone out."
"Not at all," replied the doctor. "I knock you out for free. The 900 dollars is for bringing you back around."
(My comment: Patient’s aren’t always aware of what physicians do.)
***

Waiter to GP at a modern pharmaceutical company sponsored educational meeting: "How did you find your steak, Sir?"
GP: "I looked under a mushroom …. and there it was."
(My comment: The companies are learning.. but wasn’t that mushroom a black truffle?)
***

Three GPs were on their way to a convention when their car got a flat. They got out and examined the tyre.
The fist doctor said, "I think it's flat."
The second doctor examined it closely and agreed. "It sure looks flat."
The third doctor felt the tire. "Mmm, yes. It feels like it's flat."
All three nodded their heads in agreement. "We'd better run some tests."
(My comment: In medicine uncertainty trumps observation.)
***

George went to his doctor complaining that he was no longer able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

His doctor took more history, performed a thorough examination and ran a gamut of tests. When he returned for follow-up, George said, "Now, Doc, give it to me straight. I can take it. Just tell me, in plain English, what is wrong with me."

"Well, in plain English," his doctor replied, "you're just plain lazy."

George paused. "Okay," he said, "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
(My comment: Sometimes plain English is better understood.)
***

A college professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.

"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" the frustrated student blurted out.

"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.

A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"

The professor stared at the student without saying a word. "Physics saves lives," he continued, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school."
(My comment: Maybe there is a better way.)
***

The psychiatrist said to his nurse: "Just say we're very busy. Don't keep saying 'It's a madhouse.'"
(My comment: All those in healthcare have to think before they speak.)
***

The GP met Fred back in the consulting room following further history, review of investigations and specialists letters and further examination and said, "Fred, I have some good news and some bad news."
"Oh, no. Give me the good news first, I guess," Fred replied.
"I'm going to name a disease after you."
(My comment: ..and the bad news is more importantly “there is no treatment”.)
***

GP interviewing potential new associate: "For a doctor with little experience in general practice, you are certainly asking for a high salary."
Applicant: "Well, the work is much harder when you don't know what you're doing!"
(My comment: Honesty is the best policy.)
***

A GP asked a medical student, as they discussed a patient's management:
"What would you do if you were in my shoes?"
"Polish them!"
(My comment: Patients pay attention to the whole doctor.)

Ready for more? Just go to the link above.

3 Comments:

At Sunday, June 05, 2005 5:28:00 PM, Blogger shrinkette said...

What a great post! I hope you do more like this.

 
At Monday, June 06, 2005 9:24:00 PM, Blogger Maurice Bernstein, M.D. said...

Thanks. Shrinkette, I suppose "madhouse" is not a word used in your office! ..Maurice.

 
At Thursday, August 18, 2005 4:47:00 PM, Blogger Candice said...

I like this one -- it's about transference.

A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about sex."

The Psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a picture of?" he asks.

The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."

The Psychologist says, "very interesting," and shows the next picture. "And what is this a picture of?"

The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."

The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?"

The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."

The Psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with sex."

"Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"

So -- can I get a copy of your humor paper?

 

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